The Battle

The Battle

Surrender (Definition of:) 

Admitting;

I was a naive fool that was part of a sick game for years, blissfully unaware. 

Hallucinations of, but not confined to;

Standing in a large orange holding my coconut water proudly as you snapped a polaroid, wanting to watch your videos from college over and over again, your laughter as I spill half of a scoop of raspberry truffle ice cream on the sidewalk, a card being pushed away from the check, drinking martinis in the humid night, wearing a slender rose gold band around my finger, eating sushi at my old college hangout, saying so many tearful goodbyes at airports, my legs over yours in dark movie theaters, you feeding me cocoa puffs in secret in the hospital, believing the number eight had any significance at all, dipping all sorts of goodness into chocolate fondue, good morning texts, late nights at the art deco Walgreens in North Bay, good night texts, realizing McDonald's lies about having broken ice cream machines after midnight, every single moment we ever spent together.

Understanding that;

It was an actor who told me he loved me across a kitchen after a long night out, and the same actor continued to repeat it over and over again for nearly three more years to keep me in the game.

Accepting that; 

It was all a mistake, a dream I wanted so badly that I hallucinated it all, and now I am on the other side of a computer screen writing about a ghost who never existed.

You can see why it might be difficult for me to raise the flag? I would have to denounce knowing you ever at all.

<3 M. 

 

 

 

The Silence's Attack

The Silence's Attack

The Eternity

The Eternity