The Different Loves

The Different Loves

Your eyes reflected a cocktail of innocence mixed with something you knew that I didn’t know. At first, I thought it was another way you had found to fight for control over me, but then I realized what secret you were keeping and it stopped my breath.  I spent so much time wondering if you loved me, that I neglected to reflect and ask myself. On what was supposed to be a night of celebration, I felt helpless. I could not manufacture something I did not feel, and you knew. You had always known.

I wanted only happiness for you since the day we met, confusing it for wanting to give you all of me. As you continued to look at me with astute knowledge of something that I would never feel, I realized on my way to wanting only happiness for you, I was the one stealing it. I could not give you my heart, my soul.

Across from you at your dining room table, laid out with the spiced chicken and sweet potatoes you always loved to make, I learned the difference between loving someone as a friend and passionately loving someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

It took me a few more months to gain the courage to give up my love for you as a friend in order to return your happiness, and now you hate me for not giving you something that only God can give. 

<3 M

The Perfect Equation

The Perfect Equation

The Battle I Won

The Battle I Won