It’s a very special week in my religion → holy week. The most striking holy week in my life to date was when I was 18 and getting ready to leave for college with my first love. Thirteen pounds underweight and incredibly stressed from my first real relationship, I could see the end of the relationship approaching. Even though we were all set to move to Florida together, even though he loved me with everything he had, I knew that the differences between our families was too big of a bridge for us to cross as two inexperienced high school kids. As Easter approached, I began thinking of everything it represented. Through Easter, God provided us with a ‘new beginning’, a chance to make things right. Jesus forgave our sins we he died, and proved everlasting life when he arose that Easter morning. Jesus quite literally showed us that after death, there is life. So when things die, we can absolutely know that new life will come in their place.
As I entered a season of change that Easter, and began to face a truth that is unbearable for us all → the end of a first love → I clung to my faith and the wonder of everything I could do with my life with a new beginning.
Now, a month as my textbooks fell to the ground as he told me that he could not move to Florida with me and it was over, did it hurt?! Oh yes, like hell! Did I avoid any pain by remembering Easter and my chance at a new life, a new opportunity? Absolutely not. However, I did find a hope that allowed me to survive one of the most painful breakups of my life. I found a hope that taught me how to handle rejection and uncontrollable change. I discovered a process for myself to follow in order to transform a dire ending into a hopeful beginning. Here it is:
Think Of The Restrictions
What have you not been able to do recently because of the thing that ended? If you lost your job, maybe you haven’t been able to spend as much time with your family lately. If you lost your first love, maybe you haven’t been able to see your friends as much, or have quiet time. Most likely, whatever just ended for you has kept you from doing something that you love. Recognize how much time it has now opened up for you, and the opportunities that are hidden in the ashes. This will help you have a more positive, go-getter attitude as you sift through the rubble.
There is no way you can move on to a new beginning without forgiveness. If you hold onto whatever happened, you will waste energy you need to build the new. Sometimes we do not have the opportunity to forgive someone in person, so we need to simply accept what happened and forgive them in our own heart. We have to understand that even if they don’t accept the forgiveness, we can still forgive them and move forward.
[bctt tweet="There is no way you can move on to a new beginning without forgiveness."]
Absolutely KNOW That It Is Over
If you are clinging to any hope of rehashing the past, you will not be able to start a clean beginning. You have to absolutely know in your heart that it is over, and it is time to start fresh. Whether this involves erasing phone numbers and text messages, or separating yourself from that company you left, or moving to a new city → You have to take control of the situation and permanently say goodbye.
Transfer Your Energy
It takes A LOT of energy to grieve and stay stuck on something awful that happened. While it is perfectly healthy and necessary to grieve an ending, it is equally as important to eventually transfer that negative energy into a positive rebuild. Start thinking of things that list of restrictions this thing you said goodbye to forced on you, and actively pursue some of the items on that list. Refocus your attention and your energy, and you will suddenly have everything you need for a new beginning.
Get Up & Get Dressed
This one is SO important. Even if you feel like your entire universe just ended, you absolutely HAVE TO get up and get dressed and face the day. Doing this will prove to yourself that you are stronger than this ending, and that you have the power to overcome. Just last week I was dealing with a bit of a disaster, and I forced myself to get out of bed, put on some makeup and a cute dress, and go to work. By the time I got there, I already felt a thousand times better. It’s amazing what preparing for the day despite our emotions can do for us.
[bctt tweet="Even if you feel like your entire universe just ended, get up and get dressed."]
We are always stronger than we think we are, and if we know how to build from the ashes, we have the power to do anything. Whether it’s a breakup, a job loss, a family fight → new beginnings always come from endings. Jesus reminds us this time of year that even if something completely dies, we can be born again out of the tragedy.
Give yourself the opportunity to be born again into your life, into your passions, into the new beginnings.
-Marji J. Sherman