I moved to NYC a week ago and had quite an NYC day last Tuesday. I was having a pretty great morning, high off of the first day at a new, amazing job. Then, right when the doors closed on the subway, I got food poisoning. I spent the next 45 minutes praying to God that I did not get sick while on the train. Then, my second train just decided not to show up for the morning, so I spent even more time than usual in the station, continuing my prayer. Then I got to work, and had a busy (but great) day, forgot to eat and decided to eat when I got home, and also had the brilliant idea to try a different route home on the train. This route required more outdoor walking, but no train change, which I was a fan of after the morning’s delay. About ten seconds into my walk to the new train route, it started raining FREEZING rain. I was shivering, not feeling great from the food poisoning, and every time I got my phone out for directions it got downpoured on. I finally found the station, and much to my dismay, the train I was planning on catching there had encountered some issues and wasn’t running. So, I had to take a local train all across Manhattan, and finally get on my usual train back to Brooklyn. An hour and a half later I arrived sopping wet and freezing in my borough. When I got home, I had a huge box with my Keurig in it to carry up four flights of stairs, and then unpack. When I unpacked it, it happened to be buried within four larger boxes. Yes, I unwrapped four boxes to get to get to a single-serving Keurig. Then, I had four boxes to get rid of in the sopping wet, freezing rain since they certainly wouldn’t fit in my closet of a room. Then, when I happily turned my Keurig on to warm up from the day from hell, it overflowed and leaked all over. I sat in the middle of my hardwood floor for a few seconds and began to cry, then realizing that I was now only wearing one of my favorite gold earrings. The other one had gotten lost in the remnants of the day. It was just one of those moments where you want to just have a restart on the entire day. Thankfully, days since have been brighter and I am getting the hang of my commute. Also, traipsing around NYC is a little easier without food poisoning. However, we ALL have days like this, am I right? Days when we make a solid decision to change our lives, and then suddenly wonder if this was, indeed, the right decision.
I heard an amazing sermon recently that just happened to be about making decisions and really, honestly committing to the decisions you make. The pastor emphasized that a lot of us make decisions by buying a roundtrip ticket, just in case things don’t work out, when God wants us to by a one way ticket and trust his calling for us. That’s hard to do, though, isn’t it? I felt totally in sync with the pastor as he explained his own one way ticket he bought to NYC four years ago when his whole community network told him he was crazy. RELATING.
I moved to NYC because I felt strongly called by God to be a part of the company I am not working for. It’s not glamorous and it’s not high pay, but it changes the lives of others in an impactful way. How could that not be a calling from God? In order to accept the job, I had to leave my family, friends and boyfriend behind and go blindly into the future. Here’s the thing- there are no guarantees, but there is this tug in my gut that tells me that this is right, this is what I am meant to be doing right now in my life, even if I don’t see all of the puzzle pieces yet.
On Tuesday, I did not see all of the puzzle pieces and it pissed me off, to say the very least. I was sick, tired from moving and overwhelmed by huge changes in my life happening all at the same time. That’s when I picked up the phone and called my mom, and then had hours of conversation with my boyfriend. You know what both had to say? Not ‘oh, poor Marji’, or ‘come home now’. They both told me that this opportunity is so me and so meant to be what I am doing right now, and that I just needed to give myself a break and trust God and trust the journey. Woah.
Admittingly, I did not accept their advice so kindly in my hangry attitude on Tuesday, but as the week went on I got what they were saying. I bought a one way ticket to NYC and I am going to revel in it. I am going to make it the best decision I ever made and trust that God knows more than I do about my situation right now. The fact is, sometimes God needs us to be in uncomfortable situations in order to make the biggest impact. We aren’t on Earth to be comfortable. We are on Earth to show others the grace of Jesus by positively impacting their lives in anyway we can. Now that’s something to remember when purchasing ‘tickets’ to decisions.
I think too many of us make decisions based on our comfort level, rather than our faith. There’s a saying that your life will be as big as your faith, and now I get it. You have to step out in faith and get out of the mindset that you are meant to be comfy as can be in this life if you want to make a difference. You have to say, “I’m here, God, and I’m going to go where you need me to be, even if I can’t get all of my comfy things in that place, even if it makes me uncomfortable. I’ll go, and I’ll serve you.”
When we live in our comfort zone, we limit ourselves and we limit God. It’s important that when we have “NYC Tuesdays” that we remember our purpose and why we felt called to make the decision we did. It’s important to trust God, and trust ourselves. We can make incredible differences by stepping out of our comfort zones and into faith.
- Marji J. Sherman